Tag Archives: Joy

C-C-Changes

I wrote this post as thousands are suffering from the devastation of Hurricane Harvey. If that doesn’t give all of us perspective I’m not sure what will. I decided to still publish this post because what each of us is feeling is always valid. Please keep those in Texas in your thoughts.

I pride myself on being a positive, life-loving person. As I’ve talked about before, I was an anxious child and teenager. I swore I wouldn’t go back to being that person. The person that was “too much,” who lost friends because of fake freakouts and who walked around feeling like I was always letting someone down. That person was gone.

Enter a dresser. Yes, a dresser that caused me to revert back and feel all the feels.

I was never a big fan of change. I liked my world in black and white, no grey area. Clearly, life doesn’t work like that. The recents weeks, months, years have been filled with tons of change – it’s really the only constant in life. I’ve learned to accept that and put a huge smile on my face. See the first paragraph – I didn’t want to be that girl again – the anxious, negative, too much girl.

Then I decided to build this dresser over the weekend. Surely, I’m a smart girl, I can do this. After multiple hours and getting a friend on FaceTime, I literally lost it. I let myself get to this point because I don’t want to admit to feeling anything other than positive emotions. Let me be clear, the damn dresser is a first world problem and thanks to a very good friend, it’s standing with my crap in it. Life is good, actually it’s great, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel some kind of way about the future. get up and dont give up

I. AM. TERRIFIED. 

Of becoming that girl again. 

But guess what?! It’s ok to be scared or anxious sometimes. I fight these feelings everyday so that I don’t go back to my old ways. No one, including me, liked that girl. The one filled with fears and doubts. But every now and again, she shows up because the feelings are valid. I need to recognize her, work through the feelings and move on, not bottle them up and explode on my poor friend who was trying to help.

Of course, once the floodgates open, every last insecurity came out. I should be able to build this dresser, other people can. Why didn’t I just pay to get a premade one? I *should* be able to afford a nicer one. Um, yeah total insanity. Who cares about how much the dresser costs, that it took me several hours to build it, why does ANY of this matter?!?! It’s doesn’t. All of this led me to my new mantra:

COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY

One foot in front of the other. Every single damn day. That’s all I can do. I am happy, I am healthy, I am surrounded by amazing human beings. On the scary days that I *will* allow myself to have, those are my reminders. And that I can do, overcome and become whatever and whoever I want.

So if you’re afraid that all the progress you’ve made might blow up, it’s okay. Feel the fear, talk to the boy/girl you used to be and politely tell him/her to hit the road. You are more than your yesterdays.

Motivation Mondays: Being Blessed

My apologies for being M.I.A for over a week AND for posting a little too late tonight. I was in California for work this week, so in my head, it’s only around 8pm. Much like the first time I worked this event, I came home with more insight about myself, how I work and who I work well with. I also built new relationships, some I’d even consider friendships with amazingly talented individuals. While I have a list of blog post ideas generated from my week away, today’s post is probably the most important lesson I learned in California.20130428-130305.jpg

One of the many amazing views in California

When I hear the word blessed, I immediately think religion. The priest blessed you, Jesus gave his blessing to the disciples, you get the picture. After a week of reflection on the current condition of my life, I felt overwhelming blessed. I have an amazing job with allows me to travel and work with the best of the best. My family is usually super supportive and I have the best friends anyone could ask for. I am truly blessed.

I could use the words fortunate or lucky but to me, those are feelings. Blessed is a state of being. Blessed is a mindset, a way to think about all the wonderful pieces that are part of your journey. As I headed out this morning to an overcrowded train on a rainy Monday, I tried very (and I mean very) hard to bring back the blessed state of mind I was in while away. At least I have a job to commute to.

I am not saying don’t complain. Everyone needs to vent; it is part of our human nature and is healthy. But, try to remember how blessed you are for the life you have. Even on the worst days, there is something to be thankful for. I know I am going to try harder to be humble and remember how blessed I am. I hope you will too and please keep me in check!

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