Tag Archives: Kindness

40 Days of Kindness

I’m typing this as I sit in Newark airport waiting for a friend. An elderly woman with several shopping bags sat next to me and plugged her phone in. She then laid out a blanket and I had a choice: to assume positive intent or expect the worst. And then she took out her Bible and began to pray. I see you, universe.

The world we live in is one where you have to be on guard. I took the train into the airport and walked right into the baggage area. No security. I’ve literally been thinking about this since it happened last week.

choose kindSo how do you do both? How do you stay vigilant, but kind? How do you not rush to judgements but also know when to trust your gut. I don’t know. And it’s the people who are the most threatening that need the most kindness. Look at the mass shootings over the last few years. These shooters are the ones we as a society missed. They fell through the cracks. The majority had some type of documented mental illness or behavioral issue. I’m not saying just be nice to someone and their illness magically goes away. But listening, caring and even a simple smile can change the trajectory of someone’s day.

What if they don’t want your kindness?! I smile at people on the subway and they look at me like I’m crazy likely because no one has ever done that to them before. Behavior is learned. If you never experienced kindness, or love, or encouragement or empathy before, how are you supposed to react? We as the human population have to get better at talking to people who are different from us. Different does not only mean look different, but have different experiences, beliefs and values.

Given it’s Lent and like the good Catholic girl I am, I’ve really been thinking about what should I do more of for the next 40 days. I’m not a fan of giving something up, but rather would want to take action.  So, I am committing to being more kind, to show more understanding, especially to those closest to me. It’s interesting that I can smile at strangers and strike up conversations, but I don’t do that with those in my inner circle. Something to ponder for the next 40 days.

I’m really interested on people’s perspective here. There’s such a fine line given the world we live in today. Please share your thoughts respectfully in the comments section.

everyone is fighting a battle

 

2018 Intentions

Happy 2018 readers! I promised I’d be back in January to talk intentions. So here we go!

For as long as I can remember, I set New Year’s resolutions. Every January, like clockwork, I’d start eating healthy, working out, trying to stop cursing (YEAH RIGHT!), etc. By March, nothing was sticking and I was frustrated, so I gave up. This perpetual cycle was clearly unproductive.

About three years ago, I was searching for an alternative to New Year’s resolutions. At that time, my friend KJ shared a post on Facebook about choosing intentions for the year by picking three words you want to live by. I don’t know if the original idea was KJ’s but his post grabbed my attention. What if I chose words to live by for the next year, words that would dictate my actions and decisions? Ever since, I’ve chosen three words to embody for the coming year. Drumroll…my 2018 words:

  • EASE: I force things – I try to cram 7,000 things into a day. I fight hard for deep, meaningful relationships. While this pays off once in a while, the cost is energy depletion and exhaustion. This year, I am not fighting or forcing, but rather flowing my energy to things that matter to me, like getting healthy.
  • KINDNESS: I am judgy; there I said it. I make decisions about people based on one or maybe two interactions. I don’t give anyone the benefit of the doubt. Given the world we’re currently living in, I want to listen more and give an extra measure of grace. As the quote goes, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” This is SO true – I have no idea what someone is struggling with when I make a rash judgement.
  • OWNERSHIP: Hmm, this *might* be the hardest one. I am notorious for having big emotions, both good and bad. I don’t always own up as to why I’m reacting in a certain way. I am cracking down on my triggers in 2018 and keeping a journal where I can document them. No more outbursts or excuses!

I’m excited for my intentions and the year ahead! These are bold word choices for me, so please hold me accountable. More importantly, share your word(s) with me! I’m always interested in everyone’s intentions.

hello 2018.png

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