Tag Archives: Overthinking

Motivation Mondays: “This”

“So don’t be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble, to fall, cause most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you’ll get everything you wish for… Maybe you’ll get more than you ever could have imagined… Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end… the journey is the destination”

Have you ever wondered how your life could be different if you chose a different path? What if I didn’t go to Temple? What if he didn’t break up with me? What would life be like if my parents didn’t get divorced? The possibilities are endless, right?

As the perpetual over thinker, I find myself asking all those questions too often. It goes back to over thinking the original decision I made and if it was the right one. I can be a bit indecisive and occasionally that becomes quite annoying, even to me. What will happen if I do this? Who will care? Blah, blah, blah, you get the idea.

While I do tend to over think everything, I am also a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we don’t know that reason until many years later, but there is always one. After writing Thursday’s post about my friendship with Lauren, I started thinking about what life would be like if I didn’t take that position…how different my life would clearly be. That process lead me to today’s Motivation Monday post and Darius Rucker.

Darius Rucker sings a song called “This” that talks about how if things had gone differently, life wouldn’t have led him there to this. When he says this, I believe he means his life at the moment and all the great things and people who are a part of it. He makes a good point: Would your life be this great, this outstanding if it wasn’t for the “wrong turns” or mistakes you made?

When you’re worrying about making decisions, veering off your planned out life course or questioning something that happened, listen to this song. Remind yourself that you are here at this point in your life with all these wonderful things for a reason. I know I have several times and after each listen, I realize how lucky I am to have all of this.

Introducing The 30 Days of Truth Challenge

Right before the holidays, my friend and mentee Amber emailed myself along with our other two friends, asking us to participate in the 30 Days30truthdays1-300x297 of Truth blogging challenge. In short, you are given a prompt for each day and must answer it openly and honestly. Since I never say no to Amber, I figured why not try it out. I plan to incorporate multiple prompts into one post but will continue blogging about other topics. So this may take more than 30 days. Here goes nothing!

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

I think it is too appropriate to put these prompts together since what I hate and love about myself are connected. I hate that I’m a constant over thinker. I cause myself too much stress wondering if the decision I made was right. I think it is my lack in self-confidence that leads to my continuous over thinking. I tend to feel like I’m always doing something wrong, disappointing someone and the list goes on. At work, I often contemplate if I did an assignment right and occasionally jump when my email goes off, afraid to look and see an irate email. Mind you, this has never happened so clearly it’s in my head. In my personal life, I wonder the wording of every text message, fearful I might aggravate my parents or friends. I honestly care too much about what other people think…because I am always trying to gain approval…thanks to a lack of self-confidence. Pretty full circle, right?

keep-calm-and-love-thyself-5Solution to the problem? Manage everyone’s expectations from the start of the job, conversation or whatever else. Accept the fact that I am good enough and whoever doesn’t think I am can take a hike. Realize nothing will ever be perfect. Figure out what triggers my lack of self-confidence. Have confidence in my decision-making skills since I’ve gotten myself this far without a real catastrophe. It’s a work in progress.

Now on a more positive note, what I love about myself. I love how much I care about people, projects and causes. I am invested in every single important person in my life.  If it or they matters to me, I give it 110 percent and will figure out a way to make it work. While there are times when I care too much, for the most part what I invest, I get back tenfold. When people see you are invested in them or their project, they tend to become equally as invested in you. Caring too much can lead to my over thinking but I wouldn’t change this part of my personality entirely. Like I said yesterday, 2013 is about balance for me. So, I am learning to balance my caring nature with the reality of caring too much and the negative things attached to that possibility.

A huge thank you to Amber for introducing me to the 30 days of truth blogging challenge. You should go check out her blog because it’s fantastic. Additionally, our other friend Lauren started her 30 days of truth challenge today too. Great minds think alike! The quote below sums it up.

“If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check.” – Eat Pray Love

Confessions Of An Over Thinker

“If everything is a priority then nothing is a priority”

I understand the quote above, it makes sense to me. But how do you define a priority? Certainly, finding a job is a priority for me but so is maintaining this blog, going to the gym and redoing my bedroom. Trying to get it all done and make each thing a priority usually leads to over thinking. For example, if I don’t send this résumé but go to the gym, will I miss out on an amazing job opportunity? If I don’t move my furniture tonight, my room won’t get painted, but then I can’t go to the gym. You get the picture.

I am the definition of an over thinker. I think and think, over-analyzing every detail until I’m comfortable with the decision I’ve reached. Mind you, I do this with everything, from big decisions like buying a car to little things like how I worded something in a text message to a friend. My constant over thinking usually leads to unnecessary stress and anxiety. I’ll lay in bed at night obsessing about what I did and didn’t do during the day. After one such night of obsession, I began to think about why I’m an over thinker. I wrote out a problem/solution list in order to figure out this other thinking issue I have.

Problem: I care too much. Most of the time, I over think things because I care too much about the person or situation. I become overly concerned and worry that I’m offending someone or ruining a relationship.

 Solution: Well, for starters, to care just a little less. I also need to remind myself that the people in my life will understand and appreciate my honesty. Being upfront with people will always be the best way to a handle a difficult situation.

Problem: I try to make everything a priority. It’s part of my superwoman tendency, thinking I can get everything done in one day. From the minute I wake up, my mind starts to race, quickly filling up with a to-do list that is nowhere near realistic.

Solution: Rome wasn’t built in a day, right? My new goal is to write down five things I’m going to get accomplished during the day. Everything after that is a bonus. Hopefully, this way, I won’t spend my time trying to figure out how it will all get done. Luckily, most things can wait until tomorrow.

While I am a overthinker, some of the best moments in my life have come from being spontaneous. I’m going to use those moments as my constant reminder to stop over thinking and just live my life.

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