Tag Archives: Relationships

Family Fridays: Just Let Go

At the beginning of my sophomore year of college, one of my best friends got me a mug that read “Just Let Go.” I used to stand by my window staring at the Philadelphia skyline and repeat the phrase over and over again. It has become my mantra over the last few years, though at times it is exceptionally hard to do. That leads me to today’s post featuring no one specifically:

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

I find letting go of people, places or experiences an art form. It takes careful review of the situation, usually a pro/con list and then an uncomfortable conversation. It is also very much a process; there’s no way you can just let go of something or someone in five minutes. For me, it is always an excruciating process where I waiver and over think (shocking!) my decision. At the current moment, there’s a lot of letting go I’ve been thinking about.

just_let_go_thumb[2]I have mentioned in previous posts that there is a lot of drama with my family. Additionally, I’ve talked about how most of my friends aren’t in the same locations or have conflicting schedules. All of these circumstances have made me think about who to keep or who to let go of in my life. Family is especially hard because there will always be occasions when we are in the same room. Similarly with friends, there are lots of people who run around in the same circles as me. So I might want to let go of one friendship while my other friend might stay friends with that person. Right now, my letting go definition is not to go the extra mile and to only make an effort when it will be reciprocated.

Since letting go is so hard for me, I’ve come up with a few questions to answer before initiating the process:

1. How frequently does this person impact your life? Is their impact something that positively enhances your existence?

2. When you interact with this person, is the conversation balanced or does it shift one way? Does the person spew toxic comments about others?

3. Do you feel your efforts towards the relationship would be/are reciprocated by this person? Is there a mutual effort to keep up a healthy relationship?

These are just some of the thoughts floating around in my head. Sometimes, you absolutely should fight for certain people, especially if your history with them is a mostly positive one. I’ll admit that I’ve let go of people too soon or let others ruin a relationship for me. I often wonder what that relationship would be like today. But, we all make mistakes and thankfully, I’ve learned from mine.

The choice to let go is ultimately a very personal one. With family and close friends,  it is very hard but sometimes necessary in order to preserve your own insanity. Just remember, you’re human, you’re allowed to feel whatever you want.

Let-It-Go-SPin

Family Fridays: These Are My People

“There are some people in life that make you laugh a little louder, smile a little bigger and live just a little bit better. These are the people who lift you higher”

I think by now you’ve come to see that people play a big role in my life. But not just any people, my people. These are the family and friends who motivate me, console me and make my life worth living. People have asked me if I live for these people because sometimes it seems like I do. That’s not the case at all.

In the spirit of catching up on the 30 Days of Truth Challenge, in this Family Fridays post, I am going to answer the seventh prompt of the challenge:

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

My people make my life worth living. I don’t live for them, they just enhance my existence and support me in all the decisions I make. I was asked the other day where I draw my energy from. I thought it was an odd question but immediately knew the answer. I gain energy from being around my people. Anything from intelligent conversations or jam sessions rejuvenates me and at times, has brought me back to life. These people remind me how fortunate I am to have such an amazing circle of trust that surrounds me through the good and the bad times.

As with all relationships, there will be arguments and moments where you just want to walk away. It’s hard in those moments to think clearly and remember why you value these people. I’ve learned that in some cases it’s necessary to let go (expect a post about this soon) and in others, you have to fight fearlessly for those you love. Only you will know what to do and it will never be easy. The group known as my people has changed over time for the better and because of it, I’ve learned to embrace change in all its forms.

The Rodney Atkins song “These Are My People” truly embraces the concept of having your go-to group who are there no matter what. I will warn you that it is a super country song so if that’s not your thing, you may want to just look up the lyrics. While it’s not always sunshine and rainbows, no one compares to my people!

 

From Friendemies to Bridesmaids

Niki & I at Honors Convocation this past spring

I am probably one of the few people who isn’t directly writing about the election today. I have a more important story to tell. Though, the message I am sharing with you might actually have some relevance in regards to the election.

Four years ago, two overly ambitious freshmen sat in one of their first lectures at Temple University. Both girls were eager to succeed, leave their mark on Temple’s campus. Both did well in the class, participated often and indirectly marked the other as competition. Little did they know what the future had in store for them.

Four years ago, Niki and I were the definition of friendemies. We would say hi to one another, like Facebook statuses and even offer advice on specific classes to take. But we both saw each other as competition. For the first two years of college, this is how we operated. I will be the first to admit I was threatened by Niki; I saw how talented and passionate she was and knew immediately she was going to be one of the top students in our program. It’s also safe to say our personalities in the classroom were a bit different. To this day, Niki openly admits she hated how I was a bit of a suck-up in our Intro to PR class. Sorry Niki!

In the spring of junior year, I joined PRowl Public Relations, mostly thanks to Niki and another mutual friend. Niki promised it would be worth it and that she’d look out for me. We worked together a lot during my first few months with PRowl. I slowly began to realize that us working together would be more powerful and productive than competing with each other. With Niki’s guidance, I became an Account Executive for PRowl and throughout our senior year, our once friendemie relationship turned into a mostly healthy professional one.

During our senior year, Niki and I spent countless days and nights together working, but also developing a friendship. Along with our other friend Lauren, we became an unstoppable trio, accomplishing every goal we set and having other students, professors and professionals admire our work ethic. Niki was there to fight for me, cheer me on and be a shoulder to lean on whenever I needed it. For that, there’s no way I could ever thank her enough.

As young college students, we both wanted to be the best and would have done anything to get there. Four years later, after many disagreements, sleepless nights and vent sessions, we realize we are the best when we unite forces. Of course, we have our arguments and often see things differently. But that’s the beauty of it, we both offer different perspectives and get to share our insights with one another. It makes for a much richer picture of the world.

I hope the story of my friendship with Niki shows you that your competition can become your ally or even your friend. People with different opinions can work together to achieve a common goal. Hopefully, that’s what we will see from President Obama and the members of Congress during the next four years. Two brains are always better than one!

“I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn. And we are lead to those who help us most to grow, if we let them and we help them in return. Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true. But I know I’m who I am today because I knew you. Because I knew you, I have been changed for good” – Wicked

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