Tag Archives: Writing

A Letter to my Younger Self

The song that inspired this post that I saw live back in October

Recently, I’ve had conversations with people around my age about regret. Maybe it wasn’t labeled as regret per say, but that what if feeling that if something or someone were different, life would be easier/more complete/pick your positive adjective.

For a long time, I wished the same, that things had been done differently. I wished for situations and people to change. After careful reflection, I’ve found that all those shoulda, coulda, wouldas got me here, where I’m destined to me. Every mile mattered.

Writing a letter to my younger self was cathartic. I let go of who she was and am proud of who she’s becoming. Note: Becoming is a continuous process, things I learned from Michelle Obama. So if you’re stuck or unclear or wishing the past was different, write that teenager a letter and remember, you have no idea if things would change. I still talk to that little girl/teenager often and remind her it will all be okay. More on that below…

Hey there girlfriend,

I wish you could have read these words long ago. They probably would have saved you a dairy or two. I’d like you to have read this around 14 or 15 when you thought your life was defined by other people. I’m here to tell you it’s not. It’s all yours. True you have a few more years under the parenting trios’ reign, but they’re not so bad.

Sweet girl, this world is yours. There’s soooo much out there for you to explore. Don’t let your insecurities about your body or your brain stop you. You won’t be everyone’s cup of tea and that is ok. There is a tribe of exceptional women of all ages waiting for you. They’ll hold space for you, they’ll cheer you on, they’ll commiserate and drink wine with you. Don’t hesitate for a second on finding them.

You are worthy of all this love. You are wise beyond your years. Don’t let that stop you from having some fun now and again. It’s a balance my love and if it doesn’t make you light up inside, move on.

Boundaries will be important during the next decade. Don’t ever forget where and who you came from. They love you more than life itself. Cherish those small moments filled with dance parties and Saturday ice cream dates. Those will get you through the drama and pain that all families have.

You can be both beautiful and strong, independent and in love. You chose the how to define yourself. Every scar, every sad AIM away message, every step in this journey, they each matter and you my dear girl matter so much. I’m surrounding you with all of the hopes and dreams in the world.

Love you always lil mama,
Older you

Reflections: 365 Days Later

gradHappy 100th blog post to me! I can’t believe this is my 100th post OR that I graduated college a little over a year ago. As I walked through Manhattan yesterday, I saw crowds of new alumni, taking pictures and waving their tassels in the air. I was instantly taken back to my graduation only one short year ago. Two of my friends and fellow bloggers already revisited their graduations through detailed and touching blog posts. Lauren gave a recap of her last year that did in fact bring me to tears while Jess provided solid advice for recent graduates. Their posts have inspired me to reflect on my last 365 days instead of crying about them.

Within the last year, I’ve divided my life into four major areas, listed below, in order of their current importance. While I strive for balance, I recognize that life will never be perfectly balanced; there will always be competing priorities. Here is my synopsis of the last year and the lessons I’ve learned within each of the following areas:

  • Career: Perhaps the most important part of your postgraduate life, my career still doesn’t seem steve martinreal most days. I am not in the industry I studied in school nor do I get to write as often as I expected. However, I am learning more each day while enjoying new projects, like building social media sites, something I never thought I could do. I also work with amazing people who challenge me, respect me and help me better myself. In reality, there is no such thing as the perfect job. You must be passionate about what you do but it’s ok to admit if your passions have changed. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
  • Personal: This is probably the hardest area of my life and where the most change has occurred. My family faced some challenges in the last year, battles that weren’t mine to fight. I’ve seen a new side to family members I thought I knew best. My family doesn’t feel as close as it once was and that’s hard for me to accept. BUT, I also have the extended family known as my friends, who have been the best support system. My friends are always there if I need them, but physically seeing each other and coordinating schedules can be, at times, a nightmare. I am SO proud of my friends, their own accomplishments and our ability to make it work. Truth be told though, I miss the close proximity a lot. I’ve also learned to let go of relationships that aren’t healthy anymore. People should add value to your life not continuously stress you out.
  • Self: The last year has been a journey of self-discovery and soul-searching. I know that sounds like a giant cliché but it’s true. I’ve figured out a lot about myself: my interests, my dislikes, how to manage my emotions as well as my relationships. The biggest lesson? I can change my path if I want to (or need to) as long as I am constantly bettering myself. I’m also trying to push myself outside of my comfort zone more. Example #1: Running a 5K in July.

be-in-love-with-your-life-every-minute-of-it

  • Community: In college, there were so many opportunities to give back to the community. In the last year, I haven’t volunteered or mentored as much as I would like to. I’ve always enjoyed mentoring younger people and would love to find a program close by to do that. My goal for the next year is to volunteer at least once a month.

Overall, I’d say it’s been a great first year in the real world. There were (and will always be) moments of uncertainty, doubt, fear and resentment. You can’t prevent these types of moments, though I’ve tried. I can’t go back to college no matter how many times I cry about it. Embracing this monumental change still challenges me.

For the first time in a while, I am extremely proud of myself for taking chances, being honest with myself and others and living my life for me. It’s been a year of change and adjustment but it’s also been the most trilling ride of my life.

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