Motivation Mondays: Being Intentional

Have you ever playing solitaire on your computer or cell phone? Do you notice what the game keeps score of after you’ve finished? You’ll see your score, the time it took you to complete the game and how many times you when through the card desk. In essence, it keeps track of how many times we drew each card. So, your time and score aren’t the only things that matter. How many times you choose a new card also factor in to your score.

Why am I talking about solitaire this morning? Because when I was playing the game, I thought about just tapping the next card to see if it belonged anywhere. You forget the game keeps track of that. In the same way, sometimes we say or do things just because without actually understanding why we did them. We do these things unconsciously and do not understand the implications of these actions. We aren’t being intentional with our choices.

Think about the last special thing someone important did you for you. You cherished it because it was special and solely for you, right? What if everyone person you passed on the street said “I love you?” Those three words would completely lose their meaning. When you act with intention, those actions become more meaningful, not only for those impacted by them but also for you. Acting with intention also makes you consider your decisions rather than coasting through life, going through the motions.

Everyone gets one shot have making their life all it can be. The choices we make shape our journeys. These choices should be made with intention and reason, just because someone else wants us to. I’m not saying don’t be spontaneous, but live for yourself. When faced with a choice, think about the decision that will make you most happy, that is best for you at that moment. Don’t just tap the card in the solitaire game. Don’t just randomly pick a path. Live with intention.

 

Motivation Mondays: “This”

“So don’t be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble, to fall, cause most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you’ll get everything you wish for… Maybe you’ll get more than you ever could have imagined… Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end… the journey is the destination”

Have you ever wondered how your life could be different if you chose a different path? What if I didn’t go to Temple? What if he didn’t break up with me? What would life be like if my parents didn’t get divorced? The possibilities are endless, right?

As the perpetual over thinker, I find myself asking all those questions too often. It goes back to over thinking the original decision I made and if it was the right one. I can be a bit indecisive and occasionally that becomes quite annoying, even to me. What will happen if I do this? Who will care? Blah, blah, blah, you get the idea.

While I do tend to over think everything, I am also a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we don’t know that reason until many years later, but there is always one. After writing Thursday’s post about my friendship with Lauren, I started thinking about what life would be like if I didn’t take that position…how different my life would clearly be. That process lead me to today’s Motivation Monday post and Darius Rucker.

Darius Rucker sings a song called “This” that talks about how if things had gone differently, life wouldn’t have led him there to this. When he says this, I believe he means his life at the moment and all the great things and people who are a part of it. He makes a good point: Would your life be this great, this outstanding if it wasn’t for the “wrong turns” or mistakes you made?

When you’re worrying about making decisions, veering off your planned out life course or questioning something that happened, listen to this song. Remind yourself that you are here at this point in your life with all these wonderful things for a reason. I know I have several times and after each listen, I realize how lucky I am to have all of this.

It Started With An Email

“The most memorable people in your life will be the friends who loved you

when you weren’t very lovable”

About two years ago in April, I sent an email that would change the course of my life more than I ever could have imagined. This live-changing email was accepting an executive board position with the Public Relations Student Society of America (PRSSA). I knew it would be a great resume booster and would be a position that challenged me. Little did I know what the next year and a half had in store for me.

I had been an active member of PRSSA for two years so I knew the members and the executive board. When I accepted the position as well as one with PRowl Public Relations, 95 percent of the rising EBOARD as well as the graduating seniors thought I was insane. They were probably right but one person knew I could handle it. And within the last year and a half, that person has become my person.

If you asked me to describe my friendship with Lauren, I honestly don’t think I could. We talk all day everyday, send the same message at the same time to each other at least once a week and have managed to see each other monthly despite working and living in two different cities. I guess it’s hard to put it into words because it just works. It started one day at Templefest and the rest is history. We’re on the same wavelength, we can anticipate each other’s reactions and value each other’s opinion no matter how honest they may be.

Ask anyone who knows us and they’ll tell you there’s no one quite like us. We’ve been known to call and sing into the phone at all hours of the night, bicker over where to eat dinner and drop pretty much anything to watch Scandal. One day, Lauren will become Olivia Pope, I’m sure of it. More than anything, we keep it real. There’s no lying, no hiding emotions, no pretending everything is okay when it’s not. In the last year, this girl has seen me at my absolute worst and watched me take complete nervous breakdowns (ones that mostly weren’t necessary). Despite all of that, she still manages to be my friend and love me unconditionally. Same goes for her obviously, though her freakouts are fall less frequent.

It still amazes me to think one decision changed my life so dramatically. I often wonder what life would be like if I didn’t take that position and didn’t become such good friends with Lauren. Life would be a lot less entertaining, that is for sure. A part of me wishes this friendship was formed sooner. But I guess everything happens for a reason…maybe we just weren’t ready to leave our comfort zones yet. Whatever the reason, I am beyond grateful for this friendship and can’t wait to watch the rest unfold.

Sometimes the smallest decisions impact us in the biggest ways. 

In honor of Lauren’s birthday, allow me to introduce you to our theme song.

I Want It All

As promised, this 30 Days of Truth Challenge will absolutely end up taking more than 30 days. But, I made a deal with myself and with my friend Amber that I would write about all 30 prompts. That being said, let me introduce you to prompts 5 and 6.

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

There is a lot I’d like to do during my lifetime. As usual, it is hard for me to narrow it down to one goal. When I say I want it all,  I am not lying. For me, that is defined by having a successful career and having a family. Being a working mom, in my opinion, is the hardest combination of jobs out there and feels like a lofty goal. Since I was tiny, my mom has balanced this combination. She has excelled in her career and still managed to coach my softball team and have dinner on the table almost every night. I think she did a fantastic job and am glad I had an example of a woman who was career oriented and family oriented at the same time. I know she struggled with it, as many women do. I see it everywhere: women who are passionate about their careers and adore their families. It becomes quite the balancing act.

Success has a different definition for each individual. When I think about what I hope to accomplish in my lifetime, about what success means to me, I think about striking that balance between professional and mom. I want to be able to want to go to work everyday, feeling passionate about what I do and making an impact in some way. At some point, I absolutely want my own PR firm and maybe even a charity organization. I want a family, to raise my kids and help mold them into happy, responsible adults. I already know the balance will have to shift and I won’t get it right everyday. But when I see my future, this is the vision I have for myself.

I’ve always thought about what I want to do in life, but never about something I don’t want to do. Sure, there are jobs I won’t ever want or foods I’ll never eat. But those are small things when you think about your life. After thinking long and hard, I realized I don’t want to ever see someone die. I know this is probably going to happen regardless of my opinion. I don’t want to see someone take their last breath and I especially don’t want to make the life or death decision for someone else. I’m sure one day I will have to make that painful decision for a loved one, to choose their destiny for them. But, if I could escape life without witnessing death, I would.

What do you hope to do during your life? Anything you absolutely wish you won’t have to do? Please share with me!

Motivation Mondays: One Day You Will

I don’t like gray area. Either it’s right or wrong, no ambiguity, no in betweens. I guess you can say I am an extremist. I go one way at 100 miles per hour. When I pick a route, I become overly dedicated to it and usually don’t factor in changing paths or directions. You could see how this mindset might present a few problems.

Life has a way of making other plans, throwing curveballs into my perfectly defined path. For a while, those curveballs would send me into a tailspin. I was (and still sometimes am) inflexible and became very irritated when things didn’t go the way I planned. That deal sort of worked in high school, but for college, it wouldn’t do. It became especially true when I started my job as a Resident Assistant in one of Temple’s residence halls. Plans would be changed constantly, schedules would have to be flexible and so on. Thanks to this experience, I started embracing the gray area that filled my life.

For me, trying not to live in any shade was the hardest part. The choice shouldn’t be black, white or gray. It was just a choice I had to make. Some were small, others were more important. I focused so much time on defining how extreme my choice was that I didn’t actually focus on the positive aspects of the decision I was making. Gray area means uncertainty and that scares me. But, every choice comes with some level of uncertainty. I’m beginning to feel more comfortable with uncertainty since sometimes, it leads to great experiences.

I am a huge country music fan (sorry!) and look to music to motivate me. Thanks to a good friend, I came across a Lady Antebellum song that helped me embrace the gray area in my life. One Day You Will brings a message of hope for the future and that every decision has a silver lining. Enjoy the song below and share your thoughts with me! Happy Monday!

Introducing The 30 Days of Truth Challenge

Right before the holidays, my friend and mentee Amber emailed myself along with our other two friends, asking us to participate in the 30 Days of Truth blogging challenge. In short, you are given a prompt for each day and must answer it openly and honestly. Since I never say no to Amber, I figured why not try it out. I plan to incorporate multiple prompts into one post but will continue blogging about other topics. So this may take more than 30 days. Here goes nothing!

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

I think it is too appropriate to put these prompts together since what I hate and love about myself are connected. I hate that I’m a constant over thinker. I cause myself too much stress wondering if the decision I made was right. I think it is my lack in self-confidence that leads to my continuous over thinking. I tend to feel like I’m always doing something wrong, disappointing someone and the list goes on. At work, I often contemplate if I did an assignment right and occasionally jump when my email goes off, afraid to look and see an irate email. Mind you, this has never happened so clearly it’s in my head. In my personal life, I wonder the wording of every text message, fearful I might aggravate my parents or friends. I honestly care too much about what other people think…because I am always trying to gain approval…thanks to a lack of self-confidence. Pretty full circle, right?

Solution to the problem? Manage everyone’s expectations from the start of the job, conversation or whatever else. Accept the fact that I am good enough and whoever doesn’t think I am can take a hike. Realize nothing will ever be perfect. Figure out what triggers my lack of self-confidence. Have confidence in my decision-making skills since I’ve gotten myself this far without a real catastrophe. It’s a work in progress.

Now on a more positive note, what I love about myself. I love how much I care about people, projects and causes. I am invested in every single important person in my life.  If it or they matters to me, I give it 110 percent and will figure out a way to make it work. While there are times when I care too much, for the most part what I invest, I get back tenfold. When people see you are invested in them or their project, they tend to become equally as invested in you. Caring too much can lead to my over thinking but I wouldn’t change this part of my personality entirely. Like I said yesterday, 2013 is about balance for me. So, I am learning to balance my caring nature with the reality of caring too much and the negative things attached to that possibility.

A huge thank you to Amber for introducing me to the 30 days of truth blogging challenge. You should go check out her blog because it’s fantastic. Additionally, our other friend Lauren started her 30 days of truth challenge today too. Great minds think alike! The quote below sums it up.

“If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check.” – Eat Pray Love

Motivation Mondays: Coulda Woulda Shoulda

“So many roads, so many detours. So many choices, so many mistakes. As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. When that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda buckle up, and just keep going. As we speed along this endless road to the destination called ”Who We Hope To Be,” I can’t help but whine, are we there yet?” – Sex & The City

As you may have guessed, I am a huge Sex and the City fan. While the show and its character are fictional, I’ve learned quite a few life lessons from Carrie Bradshaw, Miranda Hobbs, Charlotte York and Samantha Jones. From relationship advice to life mantras, the show has provided inspirational quotes and poignant moments that many young woman can identify with. For this week’s Motivation Monday post, I’m sharing one of my favorites with you.

In the episode “Coulda Woulda Shoulda,” each of the leading ladies is at a crossroads in their life. Miranda finds out she is pregnant, Carrie questions a life-changing decision she made twenty years ago while Charlotte struggles to have a baby and Samantha has career issues. Each finds themselves wondering about all the possibilities that could have been if they made different choices. As a young adult and professional, I often find myself second-guessing most decisions I make. I over think and pine over my choices, wondering if I made the right one. Most of the time, I’m more concerned with how my decision will impact my future. There have been times I’ve been so focused on the “what if” that I’ve kept myself awake at night.

You can see Carrie doing the same thing in this episode. She plays through a million scenarios in her head, something I am all to familiar with. As I’ve gotten older, I realized that obsessing over what could have been will only lead to more heartbreak. Within the last year, there have been so many situations that I never could have imagined happening. Some were good, others were terrible but each led me to where I am today; and the place I am at right now is a pretty good one. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, just sometimes you don’t know what that reason is until later on. Instead of worrying about what could have been, we each should celebrate what is happening now. It’s hard to not wonder about all of the “coulda woulda shoulda” moments from the past. But, focusing on the present is the only real way to be happy.